Reflections

Reflections on Barb's life (or things I've learned through Barb and what I want to remember).

Barb was one of my favorite people. She became the sister I never had.
She was:

easy to be with,
down to earth,
fun,
low key,
giving,
kind,
energetic,
passionate about the Yankees, the environment, all animals, all sports and outdoor activities, her family, and her friends.

She was real. She treated everyone the same. Though she was knowledgeable and fond of all sports she never made those of us who are "sports dummies" feel inadequate or stupid. She had a quick smile, and kind encouraging words for everyone. UNLESS, you were a litter bug--then she would chase you down, get your license number and report your actions to the authorities. Barb had a fierce love of the outdoors and wanted it kept beautiful.

There was nothing Barb could not do once she set her mind to it (much like her brother, Don). She turned a 100 year old falling down shack of a house into a lovely, comfortable home that we loved to visit. She could build or repair anything. Determined, diligent, conscientous, disciplined, hard-working, helpful, courageous, kind, caring, giving and loving all described Barb. And the multitude of friends she had proved it. Never have I seen such a continuous outpouring of love and support and faithfulness as I have seen in her friends over this past year of her journey through cancer. They visited, brought food, cleaned her house, walked her dog, sat by her side, took her to treatments, helped her Mom, and were just there for her. Students whom she taught or coached many years ago came to pay their respects and share what an impact she had on their lives.

So here is what I have learned and what is impressed upon my mind through observing Barb's friends, knowing Barb and hearing what others said about her:

When someone you know is hurting or going through a tough time: be there-just be there for them however you can. Bring food--don't worry if it's good enough, or the perfect thing to bring, -just bring it. Write cards and notes. They are so meaningful to the recipient and can be read over and over. Look for any practical way you can help out and do it. Ask yourself what you would want in their situation and try to do that. But sometimes the best thing is to just be quiet but present.

Be true to yourself. Be you, who you are, not who you think others want you to be. And be the best YOU you can be. NEVER stop learning. Don't be afraid to attempt something new or step out of your comfort zone. ASK for help when you need it. Accept it graciously and gratefully. Give whenever you can. Always volunteer in some way--do something to give back to your community in some way. Make time for your friends and family. Celebrate life every chance you get--birthdays, graduations, retirements, holidays--share them with loved ones and make those memories. Have regular "get-together" times you can count on and look forward to. Barb and her friends met every Wednesday night at "Babe's" for beers and supper and just a weekly time of fun and fellowship. Wonderful memories were made there. Reach out. Include those who need a friend or have no family. Keep in touch with friends and family far away. Take time alone to think, pray, nap, plan and dream. Take care of yourself--eat right, walk, spend time out in the sunshine and nature. Play with the dog and kids. Tell your friends and family you love them and let them know how much they mean to you. Take an interest in their lives. Look for things to be thankful for and thank God often. Forgive others quickly.

To sum it up: try to live each day so there would be no regrets, no things left unsaid if this day were your last. Think about what really matters in the end.
How do you want to be remembered?

Celebrating Barb's life

Barb's family

And life goes on......the two newest additions to the family

Dad and Don

Don and Mom (someone donated "Barb" ball caps to all of us)

I love this photo of the three sisters admiring Jake, the newest baby to the family. Jake's mom is Kim, on the right. Mindy, in the middle, has the 2nd newest baby, Adam, born in January. Angie, on the left has two boys ages 7 and 9. These are the three daughters of Chris, Don's sister in Florida.

A Walk through Pearl River, NY

Just a house I like

I like this one, too.

These pretty white trees are everywhere. It looks like it is snowing when the blooms blow off in the breeze.

This one is a weeping cherry tree.

Pretty cherry blossoms

These are such a pretty pale pink.

Just another cute little house.

The golden blaze of Forsythia is everywhere.

Another weeping cherry.

Magnolia blossoms

Ahh, spring in Texas

My little peach tree I planted last year.

Ariel

our orchard

Barb

We are in New York again as Don's sister, Barb, lost her battle with cancer on Saturday. She put up a valiant fight but this nasty disease won. Barb was such a healthy, vibrant woman who did all the right stuff. She was physically fit, ate right, got her annual physical each year.....but unfortunately had the "cancer" gene. We will miss her so but are grateful for the wonderful memories of time spent with her. She touched many lives. I am going to include her obituary here that tells some of her life and then post some of my favorite photos.

Barlow, Barbara A., 61, of Stony Point, NY, passed away Saturday, April 3rd. Beloved partner of Carol Grisoni. Loving daughter of Muriel Macnoll and Roy Barlow and wife Lorraine. Cherished sister of Christine Elder and husband Don, Claudia Loonie and husband Tom Zeringo and Don Barlow and wife Julie. Dear aunt of Angie Van Valkenburg, Mindy Moreland, Kim Mauney, Courtney Loonie and the late Tom Loonie. Barbara is also survived by an extended network of family and friends. A graduate of Montclair State University, she was a coach and physical education teacher for Emerson High School for 33 years before her retirement. Barbara was active with her bowling league and spent much time volunteering, especially with Meals on Wheels. Family and friends may visit Thursday, 2-4 and 7-9pm at the Feeney Funeral Home, 232 Franklin Avenue, Ridgewood, NJ 07450, 201-444-7650. Funeral Service Friday at 10:30am at the funeral home. Cremation private. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Barbara’s memory to Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Attn: Donor Services, PO Box 650309, Dallas, TX 75265-0309 OR to the Calvary Fund, c/o Calvary Hospital, 1740 Eastchester Road, Bronx, NY 10461. http://www.feeneyfuneralhome.com/