Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The Biscuit Queen
This is the painting my husband gave me for my birthday. A replica of the scene that greeted me each and every day at 5am when I arrived for work at Atwwod's Cafe. I just love it and was so surprised. It was painted by a loyal customer of many years. What a perfect gift and keepsake. Thank you, Don, you did good!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
The Old Front Porch
This post was found on another blog I read called: Chickens in the Road. It expressed my thoughts so well I thought I would use it in my blog. Hope you enjoy.
Vote Front Porch
Take a drive down any one-lane country road dotted with century-old homes then swing through a modern suburban neighborhood and you’ll see one glaring difference—the front porch, or lack thereof. The front porch as we know it is a purely American creation, meaning it was the combination of cultural influences from the architectural heritages of a number of countries. The result was our classic understanding of a front porch as a transitional space between the family’s private interior and the free-for-all exterior. The front porch, by its very nature, is public, open and welcoming. It’s been replaced today by the back patio or deck, which is, in contrast, private, exclusive, by invitation only. Front porches started disappearing as a common architectural element around the end of World War II as air conditioning started appearing. People didn’t need to sit outside to be cool. But the front porch isn’t only about the shade. The front porch is a way of life. The front porch creates a bridge between the home and the community. Whether it’s a wave to a passing neighbor’s car, or whether that passing neighbor pulls over and comes up to sit a spell, the front porch welcomes interaction and connection. It’s sociable and inclusive. The front porch never knew a stranger. It encourages down time with its rocking chairs and porch swings, fosters conversation, and offers a view not a television. Few modern homes are built with spacious porches anymore. If a newer home has a porch, it’s more likely a small, “decorative” porch, just big enough for a rocking chair from Pier 1 and a few perfect-looking planters, certainly not enough room for half a dozen neighbors to stop by and everyone have a seat while they shoot the breeze. In fact, we really don’t want our neighbors to stop by, especially if unannounced, and if they do, we don’t want them to stay long enough to sit down. Did we become this way because we stopped building front porches, or did we stop building front porches to foster more private lives? It’s a chicken and egg question, but either way, the disappearance of the front porch has had a huge impact on the way we live and connect with our neighbors, an impact that trickles through society in layer upon layer. I found out firsthand how much it costs to put on an old-fashioned front porch when we built our new “old” farmhouse a few years ago. It’s no wonder people today are unlikely to put their resources into a front porch, but it’s a value I haven’t regretted. Even secluded and surrounded by trees as we are, I can see the road and the river, making me feel connected with the small country community around us. Neighbors stop by and the transitional space of the big front porch offers an easy place to invite them into with its informality and lack of pressure. It’s a setting that demands freedom and relaxation, providing an atmosphere and a tone that no indoor space—or back deck—can recreate. If it’s true that all good things come back around, maybe the classic American front porch will make a comeback. As with anything, supply is all about demand. The next time you buy or build a house, “Vote Front Porch.” Your country is depending on you.
Vote Front Porch
Take a drive down any one-lane country road dotted with century-old homes then swing through a modern suburban neighborhood and you’ll see one glaring difference—the front porch, or lack thereof. The front porch as we know it is a purely American creation, meaning it was the combination of cultural influences from the architectural heritages of a number of countries. The result was our classic understanding of a front porch as a transitional space between the family’s private interior and the free-for-all exterior. The front porch, by its very nature, is public, open and welcoming. It’s been replaced today by the back patio or deck, which is, in contrast, private, exclusive, by invitation only. Front porches started disappearing as a common architectural element around the end of World War II as air conditioning started appearing. People didn’t need to sit outside to be cool. But the front porch isn’t only about the shade. The front porch is a way of life. The front porch creates a bridge between the home and the community. Whether it’s a wave to a passing neighbor’s car, or whether that passing neighbor pulls over and comes up to sit a spell, the front porch welcomes interaction and connection. It’s sociable and inclusive. The front porch never knew a stranger. It encourages down time with its rocking chairs and porch swings, fosters conversation, and offers a view not a television. Few modern homes are built with spacious porches anymore. If a newer home has a porch, it’s more likely a small, “decorative” porch, just big enough for a rocking chair from Pier 1 and a few perfect-looking planters, certainly not enough room for half a dozen neighbors to stop by and everyone have a seat while they shoot the breeze. In fact, we really don’t want our neighbors to stop by, especially if unannounced, and if they do, we don’t want them to stay long enough to sit down. Did we become this way because we stopped building front porches, or did we stop building front porches to foster more private lives? It’s a chicken and egg question, but either way, the disappearance of the front porch has had a huge impact on the way we live and connect with our neighbors, an impact that trickles through society in layer upon layer. I found out firsthand how much it costs to put on an old-fashioned front porch when we built our new “old” farmhouse a few years ago. It’s no wonder people today are unlikely to put their resources into a front porch, but it’s a value I haven’t regretted. Even secluded and surrounded by trees as we are, I can see the road and the river, making me feel connected with the small country community around us. Neighbors stop by and the transitional space of the big front porch offers an easy place to invite them into with its informality and lack of pressure. It’s a setting that demands freedom and relaxation, providing an atmosphere and a tone that no indoor space—or back deck—can recreate. If it’s true that all good things come back around, maybe the classic American front porch will make a comeback. As with anything, supply is all about demand. The next time you buy or build a house, “Vote Front Porch.” Your country is depending on you.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Peace
We are at the ranch, Don and I. It is hot, very hot, over 100 hot and we have been chasing sheep and goats all day. We are sweaty, bloody, bandaids all over our hands, exhausted, dirty and dusty, but thankful we got the job done. We caught and hauled 39 sheep and goats to the auction. We hate being forced to sell animals we have raised for years but the severe drought has taken it's toll on our land and there is nothing to eat. And feed and hay prices are exorbitant. So we did what we had to do and are glad it is done.
It is after dark now but the bright moon is casting moon-shadows and the stars are plentiful. There is a nice cool breeze and the tinkling of the many wind chimes adds to the buzzing and chirping of the night insects. I just showered and scrubbed myself clean in our wonderful outdoor shower and now I am soaking up the peace around me in our big metal stock tank filled with very cold fresh well water. So cold it takes courage to climb in but oh, so worth it. I sit and cool my body down and drink in the peaceful night. Peace, pure peace. I just want to savor this moment. Thank you, Lord, for moments like these. I am blessed indeed.
Note: I am just learning how to post from my iPad and how to add photos to my blog from my iPad. There should be another photo to go with this blog but I don't know if it will be added here or in a separate post. Please bear with me til I get the hang of this.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
You gotta read this
I am reading the greatest book. It is called Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo. He is the father of a four year old who during a serious illness spent some time in heaven with Jesus. It is an amazing story. Go to your Christian bookstore and get it soon. You will be so uplifted and encouraged. It is a #1 New York Times bestseller. A must read.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
About that STUFF....
OK...here is my story and I am sticking to it. AFter everyone left on Sunday, I just felt I had so much to say, so many feelings to share and I have missed blogging so much. So for the first time I tried to blog from my ipad. But I could not figure it out--I could not figure out how to get to the posting part--it would not work. Until nearly 11pm when I talked to Jenny for help and found out how to do it. By then my brain was already in bed so I decided to follow it, not knowing that somehow the blog had published with title only. So that's my story and I'm stick in' to it.
My name should be Mary Martha
I struggle with the Mary/Martha syndrome. When family or company is coming I stress out over trying to have the house look perfect, having plenty of food prepared, and trying to figure out ways to entertain them and make them comfortable and enjoy their stay. BUT, when they are actually here, I suddenly go brain dead and dive into a fog of denseness. I just get so caught up in my joy and desire to visit and chat and listen to them talk with each other and watch the kids play that I just forget about everything else. I mean, all week I have gathered treats for the kids, thought of games to play or places to go, meals to fix.....my menu plan looks really good....but what do I do but sit on the couch and ignore everyone needs. I simply fill myself up with their presence which delights me so. So when the visit is over and everyone has gone home and I am cleaning up I slowly discover the popsicles unopened in the freezer, the boxes of kid treats still in the pantry, the new butterfly net I forgot to bring out, the bacon and pancakes for breakfast that never happened, the photos I wanted to share, and dozens of other like things. Then I feel so guilty like how bored everyone must have been, and what a terrible hostess I was, and how Alisa must have felt yesterday at lunch when she was here and there sat a cake in front of her while I told her of all the strawberries we picked...but did I offer her cake??? No, I was too busy just enjoying the visit. I feel like such a Mary. But before anyone arrives I am such a Martha. Why can't I just combine the two in perfect harmony? Whenever the guests or family have left to go home, I always feel such an emptiness and sadness.....even though it is good, and as it should be, and all is well, and even though I am exhausted and welcome the quiet time alone, there is that longing for them in the pit of my stomach....and a guilty feeling that I just didn't do enough, that they feel neglected somehow, even tho I know that is not the truth and that all is well. I am just a bundle of mixed up feelings.
So, I will just say to anyone reading this that comes to my home to visit.....PLEASE, PLEASE for your sake and mine, ask me for something to eat and drink; ask me if I have anything new for the kids; ask for a piece of that cake sitting in front of you; help yourself to any food you can find and understand that the menu plan might be divine but reality is not; know that at some point before folks arrived the house was clean and tidy; and know that my heart desires so to serve you and minister to your physical needs but the brain neglects to carry out those tasks because I just so enjoy spending time with you and listening to you and laughing with you and showing you my garden and animals and talking and talking......and playing Scrabble on our ipads while sitting right next to you.
And family, especially Tammie, I must confess and ask forgiveness for this same feature of mine carries over when I come to your house and get so carried away with the visiting and fun that I do not help out like I should in the clean-up process. I am so bad about that and I will make a concerted effort to change. AS I so appreciate the clean up help I receive when we are all at this house. So a big thank you to everyone for your splendid job in clean up this weekend. I am most grateful.....but it made the wonderful weekend fade away much too quickly.
And I will have to add that their are some good friends who know me well enough who feel right at home coming in the house when we are not here to return some things and have no problem helping themselves to a piece of cake and leaving us a thank you note for it. Now that's my kind of people! I love it. So the purpose of this blog is to let you know, friends and family, when you come here...help yourself and make yourself at home and do not hesitate to jar me awake and ask me to remember what preparations I made for your visit. And be prepared to go out to eat when I realize I forgot to cook your meal. I love ya'll so very much.
So, I will just say to anyone reading this that comes to my home to visit.....PLEASE, PLEASE for your sake and mine, ask me for something to eat and drink; ask me if I have anything new for the kids; ask for a piece of that cake sitting in front of you; help yourself to any food you can find and understand that the menu plan might be divine but reality is not; know that at some point before folks arrived the house was clean and tidy; and know that my heart desires so to serve you and minister to your physical needs but the brain neglects to carry out those tasks because I just so enjoy spending time with you and listening to you and laughing with you and showing you my garden and animals and talking and talking......and playing Scrabble on our ipads while sitting right next to you.
And family, especially Tammie, I must confess and ask forgiveness for this same feature of mine carries over when I come to your house and get so carried away with the visiting and fun that I do not help out like I should in the clean-up process. I am so bad about that and I will make a concerted effort to change. AS I so appreciate the clean up help I receive when we are all at this house. So a big thank you to everyone for your splendid job in clean up this weekend. I am most grateful.....but it made the wonderful weekend fade away much too quickly.
And I will have to add that their are some good friends who know me well enough who feel right at home coming in the house when we are not here to return some things and have no problem helping themselves to a piece of cake and leaving us a thank you note for it. Now that's my kind of people! I love it. So the purpose of this blog is to let you know, friends and family, when you come here...help yourself and make yourself at home and do not hesitate to jar me awake and ask me to remember what preparations I made for your visit. And be prepared to go out to eat when I realize I forgot to cook your meal. I love ya'll so very much.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Before and After
New front door
new hall bathroom (forgot to take the before shots, but it was BRIGHT YELLOW)
much subdued hall bath
my refurbished beloved old screen door
part of new kitchen--we plan to replace those amber panels with bead board
new kitchen. Those cabinets below were awful--missing trim and very beat up from over 30 years of use.
Someday soon we hope to replace the countertops but they will do for now.
We both just love our new kitchen. It just makes us smile to look at it.
When the sun shines in those windows it just delights my soul.
Dark and old kitchen
Tomorrow I will post the pictures of the new big bathroom. We are just gettin' all gussied up here at the Barlow household. I can hardly recognize us!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sprucing Up
We are having a home makeover of sorts. This ole girl is nearing 33 years old and needed some overhauling cuz a whole lot of livin' has gone on in this house.
First, she got some outside wounds repaired--rotted boards and such replaced. Then she got a new door upstairs--the outside one into the schoolroom. That side of house gets all the wind and weather so there were some rotting places that had to be repaired and a new threshold to be built to keep it from happening again. Then we got a new front door--for free! We were blessed to be given some brand new doors and building materials from a friend who was selling their business. It looks sooooo nice. No more looking through the cracks like we could in the old one.
But the most exciting part is we got the outside painted. It looks so fresh and beautiful. The main part is a cream color and the trim is a rustic red. It is such a gorgeous, rich color of red and blends in nicely with the garage trim and the barn. And Don spent hours on my beloved OLD front screen door and gave it a complete overhaul--new screen, paint, wood, but the same old scroll work design that I love because it makes it look old. It is beautiful now. The front porch looks so very nice.
And on Friday the new window for Josh's old room (the one facing the driveway) will be in. The current window is barely hanging together as it has been broken by so many basketballs, etc. over the years.
And yesterday, the painters came and scraped all of that yukky, awful popcorn ceiling off of the living room, dining room, hall, kitchen and hall bathroom and put a new ceiling finish on that looks so fresh and clean. And right now, they are working in my kitchen repairing and painting my ugly, used up kitchen cabinets. And then they will repaint the hall bathroom.
So, the whole downstairs is a mess from all the stuff being moved around everywhere and stacked here and there. But all this has given me the incentive to really go through, clean out, and get rid of lots of stuff.
Remember Jenny's recent post where she posted pictures of the inside of my kitchen cabinets where I had old recipes and chore charts and other assorted tidbits from raising kids........I nearly cried when I had to remove all of them for the painters. But I took some pictures and was glad jenny had, also.
While I love the new looks and the sprucing up......change is still hard for me.
I will post some before and after pics soon.
First, she got some outside wounds repaired--rotted boards and such replaced. Then she got a new door upstairs--the outside one into the schoolroom. That side of house gets all the wind and weather so there were some rotting places that had to be repaired and a new threshold to be built to keep it from happening again. Then we got a new front door--for free! We were blessed to be given some brand new doors and building materials from a friend who was selling their business. It looks sooooo nice. No more looking through the cracks like we could in the old one.
But the most exciting part is we got the outside painted. It looks so fresh and beautiful. The main part is a cream color and the trim is a rustic red. It is such a gorgeous, rich color of red and blends in nicely with the garage trim and the barn. And Don spent hours on my beloved OLD front screen door and gave it a complete overhaul--new screen, paint, wood, but the same old scroll work design that I love because it makes it look old. It is beautiful now. The front porch looks so very nice.
And on Friday the new window for Josh's old room (the one facing the driveway) will be in. The current window is barely hanging together as it has been broken by so many basketballs, etc. over the years.
And yesterday, the painters came and scraped all of that yukky, awful popcorn ceiling off of the living room, dining room, hall, kitchen and hall bathroom and put a new ceiling finish on that looks so fresh and clean. And right now, they are working in my kitchen repairing and painting my ugly, used up kitchen cabinets. And then they will repaint the hall bathroom.
So, the whole downstairs is a mess from all the stuff being moved around everywhere and stacked here and there. But all this has given me the incentive to really go through, clean out, and get rid of lots of stuff.
Remember Jenny's recent post where she posted pictures of the inside of my kitchen cabinets where I had old recipes and chore charts and other assorted tidbits from raising kids........I nearly cried when I had to remove all of them for the painters. But I took some pictures and was glad jenny had, also.
While I love the new looks and the sprucing up......change is still hard for me.
I will post some before and after pics soon.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I love October!
My sweet husband bought me these for our anniversary. Seven years.
Sunrise from our front yard.
My little Pork Chop asleep on the couch.
Alisa and I spent a few days at the ranch and went on many countryside adventures. These are some buffalo we saw.
And some deer who posed for us.
Pretty fall flowers were everywhere in Fredericksburg.
I just love this hay field on the way into town.
Wild turkeys.
This sunrise looked like a field of lava. So beautiful it took your breath away.
Another sunrise view taken on Pecan creek
"The heavens declare the glory of God"
Harper is a tiny town that is fun to visit. It is an old town.
I just love windmills.
The Pilot Knob old one room school house.
More fall flowers along a country back road.
Porky, again
"The chops"Hasn't this October been just gorgeous. I love the deep blue skies, the cool mornings, the perfect days. A glorious month. It has been so good to just be home.
To school with Hayden
On the playground the boys were more interested watching the big machinery at work next door. They were so cute standing on their tiptoes to peek over the fence.
Is he saluting? Maybe he is trying to be like Uncle Adam.
He was suppose to be serving me grapes but most of them ended up in HIS mouth instead. I was very impressed with his ability to pour water from a pitcher into our cups. And after our snack he washed our dishes.
He had a shy moment in his classroom here. Was not ready to perform for his Gema yet. He was supposed to show me how he could cut with scissors.
Here is is telling me the names of the different kinds of balls on the cards. It was really fun having a snack with him and seeing his school during "Grandparent week".
Time is so weird. It just seems like yesterday my own kids were in preschool---and here I am with my GREAT GRAND-CHILD. Where did all that time go???
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Storm Stories
Don and I have been working with Red Cross victims from the recent floods we had in Central Texas caused by Hurricane Hermine. Not much publicity about all this but we have heard some harrowing stories from the people we are helping. I would like to share some of them because I believe it shows how God protects and helps us and it might help you think more seriously about Disaster Preparedness. I believe EVERYONE should invest in a weather radio and HEED their warnings. Flash flooding can happen anywhere and sometimes happens where you least expect it....and it happens SUDDENLY.
The first family I interviewed was a single mom with two daughters, 16 and 20, and a 1 year old grandson. The 16 year old was awakened in the middle of the night because she heard water running and wondered why her Mom was taking a shower in the middle of the night. She stepped off her bed into 3 inches of water on the floor. She immediately woke everyone up and they called 911 who told them to evacuate the house after turning off the power breaker and then 911 hung up on them. When they opened the door to go to the car they were slammed against the wall by a wall of water coming in the door. They made it to the carport, the grandma holding the baby, the 20 year old holding onto the car, but the 16 year old was trapped in the middle of driveway with water rising all around her. She was afraid to move as she could feel it would suck her feet out from under her if she picked them up---which it did and she was swept away but thankfully able to grab a tree and hold onto it. Now here is what I call the "God part". There just happened to be (this is 1am in the morning) a city work crew in a huge front end loader at the end of their street who was watching them and hollered to the girl to hang on and they were able to drive in and rescue her--then they were able to form a chain to pass the baby from one to another til it was safe in the loader. Then they drove the loader to the other two who climbed in the bucket of the front end loader which carried them to the end of the street where it was dry. There was a policeman at the end of the street who told them to walk to the high school. The mother was frantic to get the workmen to go back down the street and help their elderly neighbors who were in their underwear outside clinging to the columns of their front porch so they were also rescued. The family said that while they had a creek in their backyard, the water was not coming from that but from somewhere else and this had never happened before.
The city (Round Rock) was overwelmed with 911 calls and simply could not handle it. Fire crews were sent to the most severe cases and most areas were left to save themselves and their neighbors. And in this case, I do not think the weather radio really would have helped much as they had been giving flash flood warnings and small stream advisaries but they were not very specific other than telling you which counties. They could not predict which areas were most dangerous. 911 did make calls to some people telling them to get out but by that time their vehicles were flooded and they could only walk out. A very scary situation. I honestly do not know how you could prepare for this if your area had never flooded before and you thought you would be safe. So I would say, you must know where to cut your power off. If you are swept away keep your head above water and grab a tree or post or anything stable and hang on tight. And most of all help your neighbors--do not expect that someone else will come to help them.
An added blessing to the story above: the 16 year old had a pet guinea pig whom they thought for sure died in the flood as the water was over 5 feet inside their home. So a family friend went back to the house alone once the waters had receded to take care of the dead pet. But when he walked in the door he heard the squeak, squeak sound the guinea pigs make. He was alive! What had saved him was he had been making such a mess on the floor with his litter that they had placed his cage in a rubbermaid tub so he kinda floated around all night in the tub but safe from the water. So it was a thrilling sight for the 16 year old to see her pet come out of the house alive.
I have more stories to tell but need to get to Bible study so will send them later.
The first family I interviewed was a single mom with two daughters, 16 and 20, and a 1 year old grandson. The 16 year old was awakened in the middle of the night because she heard water running and wondered why her Mom was taking a shower in the middle of the night. She stepped off her bed into 3 inches of water on the floor. She immediately woke everyone up and they called 911 who told them to evacuate the house after turning off the power breaker and then 911 hung up on them. When they opened the door to go to the car they were slammed against the wall by a wall of water coming in the door. They made it to the carport, the grandma holding the baby, the 20 year old holding onto the car, but the 16 year old was trapped in the middle of driveway with water rising all around her. She was afraid to move as she could feel it would suck her feet out from under her if she picked them up---which it did and she was swept away but thankfully able to grab a tree and hold onto it. Now here is what I call the "God part". There just happened to be (this is 1am in the morning) a city work crew in a huge front end loader at the end of their street who was watching them and hollered to the girl to hang on and they were able to drive in and rescue her--then they were able to form a chain to pass the baby from one to another til it was safe in the loader. Then they drove the loader to the other two who climbed in the bucket of the front end loader which carried them to the end of the street where it was dry. There was a policeman at the end of the street who told them to walk to the high school. The mother was frantic to get the workmen to go back down the street and help their elderly neighbors who were in their underwear outside clinging to the columns of their front porch so they were also rescued. The family said that while they had a creek in their backyard, the water was not coming from that but from somewhere else and this had never happened before.
The city (Round Rock) was overwelmed with 911 calls and simply could not handle it. Fire crews were sent to the most severe cases and most areas were left to save themselves and their neighbors. And in this case, I do not think the weather radio really would have helped much as they had been giving flash flood warnings and small stream advisaries but they were not very specific other than telling you which counties. They could not predict which areas were most dangerous. 911 did make calls to some people telling them to get out but by that time their vehicles were flooded and they could only walk out. A very scary situation. I honestly do not know how you could prepare for this if your area had never flooded before and you thought you would be safe. So I would say, you must know where to cut your power off. If you are swept away keep your head above water and grab a tree or post or anything stable and hang on tight. And most of all help your neighbors--do not expect that someone else will come to help them.
An added blessing to the story above: the 16 year old had a pet guinea pig whom they thought for sure died in the flood as the water was over 5 feet inside their home. So a family friend went back to the house alone once the waters had receded to take care of the dead pet. But when he walked in the door he heard the squeak, squeak sound the guinea pigs make. He was alive! What had saved him was he had been making such a mess on the floor with his litter that they had placed his cage in a rubbermaid tub so he kinda floated around all night in the tub but safe from the water. So it was a thrilling sight for the 16 year old to see her pet come out of the house alive.
I have more stories to tell but need to get to Bible study so will send them later.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Just some thoughts....
I was reading my emails and one of them is a blog I follow where once in awhile her mom posts about life when she was a child. Today her mom posted about her childhood summers with no air-conditioning. And that started me thinking.....as I also spent the first 12 years of my childhood with no airconditioning and I cherish those fun summers so much.
So I decided to look back in my blog archives to those posts I wrote called "Trips down Memory Lane", and maybe add a post of my own about that. Well, I never got to those but found the one I re-posted that is after this blog post. It interested me because I feel I am now at the opposite extreme of what I wrote about.
In that post I was lamenting about being away from home so much and yearning for that "homesteading" kind of life again. And that is where we are right now. We have a barnyard full of chickens, guineas, and sheep. We have big gardens going again. We have a pond full of fish and Don's aquaponic project/greenhouse. And a new puppy.
So now, it is rather difficult for us to be away for long periods of time as it is all really too much for Alisa to handle. And I miss the ranch. I miss being out there for extended lengths of time--I even miss building that fence together. (We still need to finish it, by the way....) And when I hear of a hurricane brewing I long to get packed to be called out by Red Cross and go help. BUT....less you think I am whining and complaining...I abslolutely love to be HOME. To have my daily routine of quiet time, a walk, letting the chickens out of the barn and watching their exhuberance over catching that first bug and slipping through the hole in the barn wall to get into the goat pen to see what they can find. And I love checking the garden out early in the morning, watching those big wolf spiders that are everywhere, and murdering those nasty destructive tomato horn worms. I love that the sheep so peacefully grave right with the dogs and that they all get along. And talk about being greeted with glee....Lulu is so excited when I deliver her breakfast and let her from the backporch out into the yard. She eats and then races all around the yard playing with her many toys and sticks. And I love looking at my pot plants and how fresh and pretty they look early in the day compared to their sad wilting during our smothering heat later on. I keep moving them back and back closer into the shade. I love the routine that comes with being home.
So I am getting this routine, time at home, the comforts and solidness of community and friends and church and HOME. Yet, I then feel like I am focused too much on me and my desires instead of reaching out to others--helping others out. Or that I am not being a good steward of the ranch and taking care of stuff that needs done there. And I must admit that I love the solitude of the ranch--just the QUIET. I miss it.
So what is wrong with me? I think I am over-blessed. I am so grateful for each and everything I have and the opportunities set before me. I have choices. I am thankful for this freedom we have to be and go and do as we desire. I am not complaining--just mulling it all over in my mind. I want to be a good, wise steward of what God has blessed me with. I want to spend time with family and those I love. I want to share God's love and care with others. And I also want time to be just quiet and alone and with my husband and at home. I just want to do it all right. To be in God's will. To not overlook anyone or anything. To not take anything for granted; to not be self-centered. I just want to be living and doing and being as God wants me to. And sometimes it is so hard to figure out exactly what that is.
So I decided to look back in my blog archives to those posts I wrote called "Trips down Memory Lane", and maybe add a post of my own about that. Well, I never got to those but found the one I re-posted that is after this blog post. It interested me because I feel I am now at the opposite extreme of what I wrote about.
In that post I was lamenting about being away from home so much and yearning for that "homesteading" kind of life again. And that is where we are right now. We have a barnyard full of chickens, guineas, and sheep. We have big gardens going again. We have a pond full of fish and Don's aquaponic project/greenhouse. And a new puppy.
So now, it is rather difficult for us to be away for long periods of time as it is all really too much for Alisa to handle. And I miss the ranch. I miss being out there for extended lengths of time--I even miss building that fence together. (We still need to finish it, by the way....) And when I hear of a hurricane brewing I long to get packed to be called out by Red Cross and go help. BUT....less you think I am whining and complaining...I abslolutely love to be HOME. To have my daily routine of quiet time, a walk, letting the chickens out of the barn and watching their exhuberance over catching that first bug and slipping through the hole in the barn wall to get into the goat pen to see what they can find. And I love checking the garden out early in the morning, watching those big wolf spiders that are everywhere, and murdering those nasty destructive tomato horn worms. I love that the sheep so peacefully grave right with the dogs and that they all get along. And talk about being greeted with glee....Lulu is so excited when I deliver her breakfast and let her from the backporch out into the yard. She eats and then races all around the yard playing with her many toys and sticks. And I love looking at my pot plants and how fresh and pretty they look early in the day compared to their sad wilting during our smothering heat later on. I keep moving them back and back closer into the shade. I love the routine that comes with being home.
So I am getting this routine, time at home, the comforts and solidness of community and friends and church and HOME. Yet, I then feel like I am focused too much on me and my desires instead of reaching out to others--helping others out. Or that I am not being a good steward of the ranch and taking care of stuff that needs done there. And I must admit that I love the solitude of the ranch--just the QUIET. I miss it.
So what is wrong with me? I think I am over-blessed. I am so grateful for each and everything I have and the opportunities set before me. I have choices. I am thankful for this freedom we have to be and go and do as we desire. I am not complaining--just mulling it all over in my mind. I want to be a good, wise steward of what God has blessed me with. I want to spend time with family and those I love. I want to share God's love and care with others. And I also want time to be just quiet and alone and with my husband and at home. I just want to do it all right. To be in God's will. To not overlook anyone or anything. To not take anything for granted; to not be self-centered. I just want to be living and doing and being as God wants me to. And sometimes it is so hard to figure out exactly what that is.
A Look Back Three Years
This was originally posted on October 22, 2007
Home
Yesterday, Jenny and I went to Marble Falls to a baby shower . Amber kept Mason at our house and then Christy drove in from Austin where she was visiting to see us. How great to get to see two of my daughters in one weekend! It was so fun to spend time with Christy. I took Mason outside so he could jump on the trampoline and discovered lots of pecans on the ground. So we went in the barn to get some buckets and then spent time collecting pecans.That is when I just felt overcome with emotion--a sadness mixed with thankfulness, treasured memories, yearnings, confusion, homesickness, undone tasks, loneliness for our friends and community--I just felt all mixed up.It just felt so weird to be home. Just this wave of nostalgia swept over me.
We have been on the road so much this year with Red Cross or to visit Don’s family or we have been at the ranch. We have hardly been home over two weeks together at one stretch. It has just been weird. When we were out in the yard gathering those pecans it just felt like we were at an abandoned farm or something. I just felt sad. I felt homesick. I yearned for the days of the barnyard full of chickens and milk goats and a big vegetable garden beside it. It just brought be back to the past. I just can’t put into words how I felt. I guess there is still so much of that homestead kind of life in me--buried, but not dead--hoping to be revived someday. I love our home in Marble Falls--I love the land, the barn, the playground, the decrepit orchard, the big pecan trees that we planted long ago, the huge fig tree, the vine covered fences and arbor. So many wonderful memories there. How extremely blessed I am to have raised my kids in that one house. Brian, the oldest ,was 10, Micah,7, Christy,6, Josh,1, when we moved there in 1980. Jenny Rose was born there--at home--in that very house. God brought Beki and Gina to us at that home. And Tammie, Adam, and Amber lived with us there for seven years. I home schooled for 13 years in that upstairs schoolroom in that home. Umpteen beloved pets are buried on that land.I think this time of year makes me especially nostalgic. I loved the beginning of the home school year. Playing games with the kids at recess out in the playground. Just the special feel of fall-- The way the north wind would whistle against the windows of the school room when a norther blew in; the leaves swirling around outside begging for kids to jump in them; the smell of that first fire of the season in our woodstove.
I just love fall and I love home.I guess I started rambling. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place and I need to write them. I think part of me yearns to just stay home, stay put, be stable and predictable, be there to plant and harvest a garden, to gather those eggs each day, to bring the house and barn back to life. It is vacant now. I feel it is lonely. I feel like it misses its family. Having the big dogs gone--(they are at the ranch with us)--that hit me hard yesterday, too. There is not much life left there. But the ducks, guineas, and barn cats are still there. And my wild birds. And my pot plants. Thank God for Alisa who diligently comes daily to care for them although they are all rather independent creatures. But I am glad there is still some life at home. Life will go on there and we will be back.I just feel we are in a different season now. We have the time and freedom to do the disaster relief work we love to do. And to travel. And Don’s folks won’t be here forever--we need to spend time with them NOW. I just feel God has given us the means and freedom for such a time as this. I know He will let us know when it is time to become rooted at home once again.
But for now, I am thankful for what we have. I love to travel. I love to work hard when we are on Red Cross jobs and to help others. I’m so thankful to be able to be there for family when they need us to come and help out. I love going to Haiti and helping to give fresh drinking water to people who had none before we repaired their wells. I love being in New York, Florida, and Arizona with Don’s family. And I absolutely love the ranch and being here.The ranch. I feel the same about the ranch as home. I am sad when we leave here. There are sheep and goats and cows here that we have to leave to fend for themselves--(which they are very good at doing). But my heart aches when we leave here and it yearns to return here. There are projects and repairs to be done here as there are at home. It is such an incredible blessing to have two homes that you love so very much. BUT it is also incredibly difficult to do a good job of maintaining and caring for two homes, also. So the best thing we can do is to do the best we can. To prioritize needs and projects and spend chunks of time at each place taking care of those needs. Thank goodness it is only an hour and 15 minute drive from the ranch gate to the home driveway.
I am not at all complaining. Just sorting it all out in my mind. Sometimes I worry we are not being good stewards of all this God has blessed us with. We try and we work hard, but sometimes the work is more than us.I guess it would just be easier if I was a woman with few interests and desires. But I love life. I love being outdoors, observing nature, learning about all I can, being around animals, reading--all kinds of books about all kinds of things. I want to grow more, learn more, be more. I love learning. Everything interests me. I love meeting new people and making new friends and traveling to different places. I love seeing how others live in other parts of our nation or our world. I love adventure and travel.
BUT.......... I also relish a consistent early morning quiet time with God; being at home and cooking and homemaking and gardening and weekly Bible studies and regular date nights with my husband and going to church each Sunday and being part of a home group and having girl’s movie nights and being part of a book club and just plain having a stable, comfortable routine.Maybe that is it. Routine. I need a sense of routine and this year there has been very little routine in my life. Each day is different. While that can be enchanting and exciting--it can be unsettling, too. Ok--I am beginning to feel better. Maybe I just need to work harder to establish some basic routine in my life that can work wherever I am. That might help. I am going to try it. I think that part of my uneasiness is just not knowing what is coming next. I need something to be predictable. Some structure in my life. A plan. A direction. Certain goals to accomplish in a certain time. Not a legalistic dogma but firm ideas of what needs to be done daily-and in the immediate future to make me feel together.Enough. I feel better. Thank you for wading through these crazy feelings and garbled thoughts.
Posted by Gema at 2:55 PM 4 comments
Home
Yesterday, Jenny and I went to Marble Falls to a baby shower . Amber kept Mason at our house and then Christy drove in from Austin where she was visiting to see us. How great to get to see two of my daughters in one weekend! It was so fun to spend time with Christy. I took Mason outside so he could jump on the trampoline and discovered lots of pecans on the ground. So we went in the barn to get some buckets and then spent time collecting pecans.That is when I just felt overcome with emotion--a sadness mixed with thankfulness, treasured memories, yearnings, confusion, homesickness, undone tasks, loneliness for our friends and community--I just felt all mixed up.It just felt so weird to be home. Just this wave of nostalgia swept over me.
We have been on the road so much this year with Red Cross or to visit Don’s family or we have been at the ranch. We have hardly been home over two weeks together at one stretch. It has just been weird. When we were out in the yard gathering those pecans it just felt like we were at an abandoned farm or something. I just felt sad. I felt homesick. I yearned for the days of the barnyard full of chickens and milk goats and a big vegetable garden beside it. It just brought be back to the past. I just can’t put into words how I felt. I guess there is still so much of that homestead kind of life in me--buried, but not dead--hoping to be revived someday. I love our home in Marble Falls--I love the land, the barn, the playground, the decrepit orchard, the big pecan trees that we planted long ago, the huge fig tree, the vine covered fences and arbor. So many wonderful memories there. How extremely blessed I am to have raised my kids in that one house. Brian, the oldest ,was 10, Micah,7, Christy,6, Josh,1, when we moved there in 1980. Jenny Rose was born there--at home--in that very house. God brought Beki and Gina to us at that home. And Tammie, Adam, and Amber lived with us there for seven years. I home schooled for 13 years in that upstairs schoolroom in that home. Umpteen beloved pets are buried on that land.I think this time of year makes me especially nostalgic. I loved the beginning of the home school year. Playing games with the kids at recess out in the playground. Just the special feel of fall-- The way the north wind would whistle against the windows of the school room when a norther blew in; the leaves swirling around outside begging for kids to jump in them; the smell of that first fire of the season in our woodstove.
I just love fall and I love home.I guess I started rambling. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place and I need to write them. I think part of me yearns to just stay home, stay put, be stable and predictable, be there to plant and harvest a garden, to gather those eggs each day, to bring the house and barn back to life. It is vacant now. I feel it is lonely. I feel like it misses its family. Having the big dogs gone--(they are at the ranch with us)--that hit me hard yesterday, too. There is not much life left there. But the ducks, guineas, and barn cats are still there. And my wild birds. And my pot plants. Thank God for Alisa who diligently comes daily to care for them although they are all rather independent creatures. But I am glad there is still some life at home. Life will go on there and we will be back.I just feel we are in a different season now. We have the time and freedom to do the disaster relief work we love to do. And to travel. And Don’s folks won’t be here forever--we need to spend time with them NOW. I just feel God has given us the means and freedom for such a time as this. I know He will let us know when it is time to become rooted at home once again.
But for now, I am thankful for what we have. I love to travel. I love to work hard when we are on Red Cross jobs and to help others. I’m so thankful to be able to be there for family when they need us to come and help out. I love going to Haiti and helping to give fresh drinking water to people who had none before we repaired their wells. I love being in New York, Florida, and Arizona with Don’s family. And I absolutely love the ranch and being here.The ranch. I feel the same about the ranch as home. I am sad when we leave here. There are sheep and goats and cows here that we have to leave to fend for themselves--(which they are very good at doing). But my heart aches when we leave here and it yearns to return here. There are projects and repairs to be done here as there are at home. It is such an incredible blessing to have two homes that you love so very much. BUT it is also incredibly difficult to do a good job of maintaining and caring for two homes, also. So the best thing we can do is to do the best we can. To prioritize needs and projects and spend chunks of time at each place taking care of those needs. Thank goodness it is only an hour and 15 minute drive from the ranch gate to the home driveway.
I am not at all complaining. Just sorting it all out in my mind. Sometimes I worry we are not being good stewards of all this God has blessed us with. We try and we work hard, but sometimes the work is more than us.I guess it would just be easier if I was a woman with few interests and desires. But I love life. I love being outdoors, observing nature, learning about all I can, being around animals, reading--all kinds of books about all kinds of things. I want to grow more, learn more, be more. I love learning. Everything interests me. I love meeting new people and making new friends and traveling to different places. I love seeing how others live in other parts of our nation or our world. I love adventure and travel.
BUT.......... I also relish a consistent early morning quiet time with God; being at home and cooking and homemaking and gardening and weekly Bible studies and regular date nights with my husband and going to church each Sunday and being part of a home group and having girl’s movie nights and being part of a book club and just plain having a stable, comfortable routine.Maybe that is it. Routine. I need a sense of routine and this year there has been very little routine in my life. Each day is different. While that can be enchanting and exciting--it can be unsettling, too. Ok--I am beginning to feel better. Maybe I just need to work harder to establish some basic routine in my life that can work wherever I am. That might help. I am going to try it. I think that part of my uneasiness is just not knowing what is coming next. I need something to be predictable. Some structure in my life. A plan. A direction. Certain goals to accomplish in a certain time. Not a legalistic dogma but firm ideas of what needs to be done daily-and in the immediate future to make me feel together.Enough. I feel better. Thank you for wading through these crazy feelings and garbled thoughts.
Posted by Gema at 2:55 PM 4 comments
Friday, August 20, 2010
I Love.....
- summertime, even when it so HOT
- wolf spiders in my garden--especially when they have caught a big old grasshopper
- the sweet call of "Bob", my quail each morning. I can hear his "bob-white" call all the way around our block when I am walking.
- kisses from my new puppy
laughing with my husband over how it takes our two brains together to come up with someone's name.
- walking outside after dark to close my chickens up and listening to the quiet and feeling the breeze and seeing the pretty moon and just being thankful for HOME.
- coffee in the morning
- how good you feel after a shower
- memories that God kinda lets you live all over again. Last Sunday night our church had baptisms at the lake--42 people. It was at this shady, beautiful place by the lake, and we brought chairs and gathered around and sang hymns and praise songs and listened to testimonies and watched peoples lives being changed by Jesus. It was all so sweet and precious and it brought back to me long ago Sunday night memories of Camp Longhorn on Inks Lake, just a few miles away. We would walk up to church mountain and sit on old benches under the stars and moon and sing hymns and praise God and it touched my heart so deeply. It was like God letting me relive those memories and I cherish it.
- seeing pictures of my grandchildren
- being with family--just watching everyone enjoy each other.
- watching my chickens
- dusk--I love the way the world looks just after the sun has set--so calm and peaceful and beautiful. I love the way our freshly mowed field looks with the pond in the background.
- our Sunday school class. I love the deep discussions we have and just hearing from others their interpretation of scripture or how it has applied to their life and what they have learned. Iron sharpens iron and I love learning and growing in God's word.
- And I could go on and on but I love the feel of my bed and need to be there now.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Notes
I have posted out of order. Please go to "older posts" to see my post of our family reunion pics. I just never got around to posting about Haiti until now.
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